[Mrrrr...he could. He could write Jason a letter (or hell, call him via the new knife he made and sent a few days later but hadn't told Joshua about), but there--
--no. No more excuses. He couldn't keep dishing out excuses, that was exactly what the whole problem was. Joshua had made it a little more clear just how bad the whole thing looked and though he's not sure that's how Jason would see it, it makes plenty of sense to him. Damn.] So what you're saying is that I have to trust Jason to intervene where he feels like it so that he can trust me to handle what he thinks I can handle. [There's a loud sigh.] I guess not, but it's not like he'd trust me to do all of this anyway.
The problem is that I keep making bad choices with good intentions. [He'd figured that out a day or two ago.] I don't think it's that Jason's mad I'm doing things. I think...I think he's mad that I'm doing things without really thinking. He yells at me a lot about not thinking. Loki points out that I have to think things through a lot more carefully, too. But...[This is terrible. Everything about this is terrible.] ...I'm used to being able to think things through and having time to do so. Lately I'd been saying yes to things and then realizing it's a bad idea too late. All of this started because I wanted something and was already convinced Jason would say no, so I did it anyway.
[Just like he used to do with Tadashi.]
That's where it became the real problem. Once it was started, why stop? I know that didn't work but it kinda worked for a while.
And you're right, it's not done yet. We've got a long way to go but I don't know if I can make Jason wait that long. I don't even know if I can go home yet. He won't take letters. I'm pretty sure the only way I'll get to get things through to him is by going home and I can't yet. So...I don't know. Maybe I'll try that. I'll figure something out.
[The one thing that's clear though is the sincerity oozing from the conversation. He misses Jason a lot, and he's worried it's damaged beyond repair already. That, and of course, he's actually certain Jason won't listen to him if he doesn't take the bait and actually come home to prove he's capable of listening. Capable of caring about Jason's opinion. He's been awful about proving it lately.]
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--no. No more excuses. He couldn't keep dishing out excuses, that was exactly what the whole problem was. Joshua had made it a little more clear just how bad the whole thing looked and though he's not sure that's how Jason would see it, it makes plenty of sense to him. Damn.] So what you're saying is that I have to trust Jason to intervene where he feels like it so that he can trust me to handle what he thinks I can handle. [There's a loud sigh.] I guess not, but it's not like he'd trust me to do all of this anyway.
The problem is that I keep making bad choices with good intentions. [He'd figured that out a day or two ago.] I don't think it's that Jason's mad I'm doing things. I think...I think he's mad that I'm doing things without really thinking. He yells at me a lot about not thinking. Loki points out that I have to think things through a lot more carefully, too. But...[This is terrible. Everything about this is terrible.] ...I'm used to being able to think things through and having time to do so. Lately I'd been saying yes to things and then realizing it's a bad idea too late. All of this started because I wanted something and was already convinced Jason would say no, so I did it anyway.
[Just like he used to do with Tadashi.]
That's where it became the real problem. Once it was started, why stop? I know that didn't work but it kinda worked for a while.
And you're right, it's not done yet. We've got a long way to go but I don't know if I can make Jason wait that long. I don't even know if I can go home yet. He won't take letters. I'm pretty sure the only way I'll get to get things through to him is by going home and I can't yet. So...I don't know. Maybe I'll try that. I'll figure something out.
[The one thing that's clear though is the sincerity oozing from the conversation. He misses Jason a lot, and he's worried it's damaged beyond repair already. That, and of course, he's actually certain Jason won't listen to him if he doesn't take the bait and actually come home to prove he's capable of listening. Capable of caring about Jason's opinion. He's been awful about proving it lately.]
Definitely a big goal, though.