[He looks dumbfounded for a minute…before he just starts laughing. Actually laughing, possibly slightly hysterical at this point. It's so true, isn't it? He tried to be good. He tried to be good and true and virtuous and he's not a bad person, but chaos and Hiro go together just about as well as bread and butter, simply put. He finds familiarity in chaos, having freedom to travel the paths as they come and adjust when necessary. Of course, that gets him into trouble often and he knows that. Breaking rules with great, great consequences…maybe Josh really did know what he was talking about.]
Right. Of course. [He clears his throat, sitting up a little taller and calming himself down.] You guys are order and willingness, and we're chaos and willfulness. Trust me, I know. [He sees the difference mostly between himself and Nico, truthfully. It's most blatantly obvious with them.] Have you ever noticed that what we fight for and what you fight for are just variations of the same thing? Love and passion? Beauty and glamour? We just take the extremes. [Like kidnapping, apparently.]
I hope that's not your way of predicting a bad future. [A lopsided grin.] Who knows what your freaky angel powers can really do. [But he knows Joshua's right. Experience is a whole other ballpark and he knows better than to argue that.] …I don't know if you've noticed but I'm not exactly great at coping. [And Joshua's the only one he'll really admit that to in such a way.] I know the world's not black and white. Life and death aren't black and white. But how're you supposed to differentiate between the different shades of gray? That's where I'm stuck, I guess.
[He bites his lip.] I'm not ready to die. And I'm not going to let other people die on my watch either. I can't. I can't allow that and that includes some of the Seelie and I know that's wrong but just because they don't know any better doesn't mean they totally deserve it. Not all of them. [Most of them, apparently, but there are exceptions.] …but you're right. Death here would probably be worse than staying alive and fighting everything. [There's a beat. It's clear he's thinking on something very specific…but.] I'll take care of them. Both of them. No matter what, I'll think of something. They don't deserve that.
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Right. Of course. [He clears his throat, sitting up a little taller and calming himself down.] You guys are order and willingness, and we're chaos and willfulness. Trust me, I know. [He sees the difference mostly between himself and Nico, truthfully. It's most blatantly obvious with them.] Have you ever noticed that what we fight for and what you fight for are just variations of the same thing? Love and passion? Beauty and glamour? We just take the extremes. [Like kidnapping, apparently.]
I hope that's not your way of predicting a bad future. [A lopsided grin.] Who knows what your freaky angel powers can really do. [But he knows Joshua's right. Experience is a whole other ballpark and he knows better than to argue that.] …I don't know if you've noticed but I'm not exactly great at coping. [And Joshua's the only one he'll really admit that to in such a way.] I know the world's not black and white. Life and death aren't black and white. But how're you supposed to differentiate between the different shades of gray? That's where I'm stuck, I guess.
[He bites his lip.] I'm not ready to die. And I'm not going to let other people die on my watch either. I can't. I can't allow that and that includes some of the Seelie and I know that's wrong but just because they don't know any better doesn't mean they totally deserve it. Not all of them. [Most of them, apparently, but there are exceptions.] …but you're right. Death here would probably be worse than staying alive and fighting everything. [There's a beat. It's clear he's thinking on something very specific…but.] I'll take care of them. Both of them. No matter what, I'll think of something. They don't deserve that.